Back to the drawing board

I am miscarrying. It happens. I'm not going to get super upset. It's better than a TFMR. I just assume the egg that fertilised wasn't a good one this month. This is my second miscarriage, both were very early on. It is what it is. October is Infant and child loss awareness month. Much love to all of the warrior women out there struggling.

The Ugly Truth

This is a very personal post. I have what's called a Balanced Translocation. My genetics are shuffled around. Here is a video that explains it in simple terms. I am a visual learner and I thought this video was great.

BALANCED TRANSLOCATION OF CHROMOSOMES

Here is a wonderfully crappy picture I drew in paint to illustrate what Balanced Translocation means. 

So as you can see. It's a bit like Lego. I have all the pieces needed to make a living human being, as here I am blogging and living and such. The problem with having this particular genetic mutation is that you are liable to have a problem procreating and that is why my daughter didn't make it here.

She had a trisomy. Google explains it as 'a condition in which an extra copy of a chromosome is present in the cell nuclei, causing developmental abnormalities.'

So because two of my chromosomes are mixed and matched what can happen is the baby conceived could have a third copy of a chromosome where only a pair is needed, one from the bio mom and one from the bio dad. The extra chromosome, in my case number 18, is what caused my baby to be "not compatible with life" as the doctors would say.

This is a genetic condition so one of my parents also has a BT (Balanced Translocation). I don't know which one but it doesn't really matter at this point. My mother had three live births and two miscarriages. Now I am prone to think that those miscarriages she suffered probably had to do with the BT but science back in the 70's isn't what it is today so I ended up finding out the hardest way a person can find out something like this.

The doctors and geneticists couldn't give me a percentage of likelihood that a trisomy would occur again but obviously it is possible to carry healthy babies or my mom wouldn't have three adult children walking around this world. 

It was explained to me that if I got pregnant again I could be tested at approximately ten weeks along and know two weeks later if my babies genetics are okay or not. At that point I would either have to go get another TFMR (Termination for medical reasons) or hopefully, prepare for a live birth. 

So now to the scariest thing going on in my life right now..

Wish me luck.