Depression and Dead Babies

Hi, Lyn again,

For a long time I was very depressed. Now I'm sure many of you are wondering "Why is she talking about depression, that's not funny at all! She might as well talk about Hitler and dead babies!" But depression can be funny after a time, once your perspective changes, after the drug treatments..


I've noticed that there seems to be an epidemic. There's alot of cancer going around. Everyone has cancer. If you are wondering what you are going to die from, it's cancer.

//\\ Scary Cancer Cells above! //\\

Also there are many busy, anxious, stressed people in the world and I am one of the anxious, definitely not one of the busy. In my case that might be the problem. Basically I do nothing. Yesterday I streamed every Harry Potter movie in sequence out of pure boredom.

..........What I see......... What my friend Sarah sees


I have some attention issues. Like when I was standing in a restaurant downtown earlier I counted how many men with facial hair were in the room. Why? No discernible reason. I just wanted to know.

The real question is why don't these guys have noses?

Another epidemic is crazy. Most people I know have had or will shortly have a nervous break down for some reason. The reasons will be valid. The smart people are the ones that break down in private so not too many people know about it.
When it's public knowledge that you're a basket case (in which I mean me not you I'm sure you're very well adjusted) people treat you like you're going to spontaneously maul them like a bear.


Like my friend Sarah, her break down was public as was my own because it was re-occurring. We had periods of "really crazy" and "kind of minimally functionable" crazy. Sarah is one of my best friends. We dated very briefly in our early 20's but
after 10 days I realized it wasn't going to work out. Because we are both too crazy to be together. It would be horrible!

Sarah would be all "I have a headache, oh my god it's a brain tumor!" and I'd be all "It's not a tumor" from Kindergarten Cop with the Schwarzenegger accent as I try to calm down her crazies.


But then what about my crazies? What about when I'm being neurotic and wondering if I'm going to be broke and destitute in an old age home with no visitors. Who's gonna try and stop my crazy train? Certainly not Sarah. If anything she would hop on the crazy train and yell "choo choo!"

My friends and I got high alot. I don't think that helped with Sarah's ADD. I wonder if I'm ADHD sometimes because I sometimes get so excited about the smallest things, like my girlfriend Tracey who woke me up one morning by throwing the lights on and opening the curtain. She was just so happy it was a beautiful sunny day And she wanted me awake to share in the joy where as I, well I was like..


I'm sleeping peacefully in near total darkness and all of a sudden there's noise and light and dear god why?? Peace becomes chaos. And there's the girlfriend smiling maniacally "Wake up it's a beautiful day!"


Speaking of ADD I forgot I was talking about getting high. Some of the funniest shit happens when a person is high and for some reason you can only remember it well when you get stoned again. When you're sober you can't remember alot of the details but as soon as you're high you're like "Remember that time when we went tobogganing at 4am behind the emerald hotel?"

That was an interesting night. I'm with my two friends Stefan and Fish. They were roommates at the time. And Stefan's other roommates brother who they called Dickles. Dickles was special. I mean maybe at one point he had been okay but after
years of torture from his brothers and I'm guessing many blows to the head he was just fucked.

This guy went down the hill on the toboggan as Fish, Stefan and I watched and it was great.. till he hit the pavement. I could hear that wonderful wood on pavement sound followed almost immediately by a pain filled "Fuck!" Any regular person would have rolled off the toboggan before it hit the pavement, but not Dickles. It's people like him that crowd our emergency rooms. It's people like him that entertain us. They always go to the extreme. It's the crazy people in this world that make it great.